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Tag Archives: dad jokes

We haven’t seen a new top-quality cat meme in a hot minute. But the odds are ever in our favor and our prayers have been answered. Meet Chestnut the Smiling Cat who went viral after its owner, ChazaySSB, uploaded it onto Reddit’s ‘Aww’ community.

The cat looks like it’s incredibly proud of a joke it just told. Many redditors loved the catto so much, they couldn’t help but come up with dad jokes that would fit the photos.

We’ve collected some of the best Smiling Cat memes (dad jokes included) for you to enjoy, so scroll down, upvote your faves, and be sure to let us know which ones you liked the most and why. And if you have any awesome dad jokes up your sleeves, we’d love to hear them, so drop us a comment! And be sure to read Bored Panda’s interview with Chestnut’s owner below.

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In an interview with Bored Panda, the cat’s owner said that they’re “blown away by how much attention Chestnut has received.”

“I definitely did not expect him to blow up the way he did. It makes me happy to see how many people love his infectious smile! He’s a sweet boy and I’m glad that he’s receiving the attention he deserves!”

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We wanted to get to know Chestnut a bit better, so we asked his owner if they could tell us about him. “Chestnut was abandoned at a pet store that my sister works at when he was about a week old. He was riddled with ringworm and needed a loving home. My sister brought him home to foster him and I ended up adopting him a couple months later! He is now a healthy and happy 6 month old boy with loads of love and energy.”

“Unfortunately, I do not know what his breed is exactly due to the circumstances in which he was adopted, but I’m fairly confident that he has some tabby in him and maybe some Bengal as well!” the owner said. “He enjoys causing mischief, chasing invisible creatures at 3 AM, and playing with my other cat, Clyde! Clyde doesn’t enjoy it nearly as much since he’s older and can’t match the insane energy that Chestnut puts out, though. His favorite meals are tuna, chicken, and wet food, but I’m convinced he’ll eat anything that fits in his mouth!”

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Chestnut’s owner said that their favorite dad joke (and one that they know that their cat would enjoy) is “What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish!”

“I just want to say thank you to everyone for their sweet comments about Chestnut. This has been a wild ride for sure! I will continue to post photos and updates of Chestnut on his Instagram, @prince.chestnut!”

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See Also on Bored Panda

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Millions love dad jokes, and millions hate them. I personally enjoy lighting up my co-workers’ day with some cheesy dad jokes during breaks and over lunch. And if they’re cringing or hiding their faces in shame, it’s only because they’re embarrassed to admit just how good dad jokes are. R-right?

The main issue people have with dad jokes is that they’re harmless but “only barely clever,” according to The Atlantic. But what makes a dad joke a dad joke? In one word—wordplay. But why we call them ‘dad jokes’ is a different deal.

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For instance, McKay Coppins states that dads getting their dad jokes has to do with a “combination of exhaustion and your kids laughing at anything when they’re very young, which creates a perverse incentive system and endows you with false confidence.”

University of South Carolina English professor Stanley Dubinsky tends to agree with Coppins’ theory. In his opinion, cheesy dad jokes are a way to recapture the nostalgia of when your kids were still little by telling “stupid old jokes they used to think were funny.”

He also adds that some people disapprove of dad jokes because “we judge the sophistication of our peers by how sophisticated they are with use of language.” And dad jokes really aren’t shining beacons of sophistication. But they sure are fun! Especially when combined with Chestnut the Smiling Cat.

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Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/cat-meme-joke/

The pun is a misunderstood and often maligned form of comedy. Most of us, if you asked what we think of puns, would say we find them groan-worthy and associate them with dad jokes. But there’s so much you can do with language – it’s such a broad category of comedy that even if you think you can’t stand puns, there’s bound to be one out there for you too. Not to mention, dad jokes have actually been enjoying a surge of popularity in recent years.

Here are some posts that people shared on /r/puns as well as /r/PunPatrol, proving that wordplay is a thriving art. Some of the setups that people make just so they can take a picture of it and pun around might concern you. Others didn’t have to do anything, just find some poor sap who asked an innocent question and left themselves wide open.

Scroll down for some good and some so-bad-it’s-good wordplay.

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See Also on Bored Panda

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See Also on Bored Panda

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See Also on Bored Panda

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-puns-wordplay/

There’s no perfect job. Every single occupation, no matter how fascinating, glamorous or well-paying, has certain downsides. But sometimes, that downside is rather unexpected — humor!

Whatever job you might have, you’re bound to have heard at least one incredibly bad dad joke related to your occupation. Maybe the first time you heard one of these jokes, you actually rolled on the floor laughing. The second time, you laughed out loud but no more than that. The third time, you chuckled. The fourth time, you smiled. But after hearing the same joke for the fifth time, all the joy and wonder was most likely gone from you by that point. And the same jokes just keep on coming.

So here is a list of the best silly jokes that people in different professions are absolutely sick of hearing. Upvotes your faves, share with your friends, and keep on scrolling. Oh, and we’d be delighted to know if you’ve heard any corny, cheesy or dad-like jokes related to your job — so share your experience with everyone somewhere in the comments!

#1

I recently went through US Customs and the officer asked me the standard “do you have cash more than $10,000 on you?” question.

I responded: “I wish! HURHURHUR”

Her response: “If I had a penny for everyone who cracked that joke in front of me, I’d have the $10,000 by now”

…I totally deserved that.

#2

Mail carrier here. “You can keep the bills !” hur hur hur

#3

Selling lottery tickets. Im like what numbers would you like? Everyone be like “the winning ones”.

Bruh

Bored Panda talked to HaiKarateAquaVelva, who asked Redditors worldwide for their annoying job joke stories. Their thread was so popular, it got over 69,200 upvotes and more than 26,600 comments in just over a day.

“I made the post because at my job, I regularly get a lot of the same types of comments over and over from folks who surely think they’re being witty, funny, original, and oh-so-clever… not!”

“This is all harmless of course, and I don’t mind it one bit. Even after hearing the same couple jokes/comments for the 823rd time. I’ve been guilty of doing the same thing more times than I can remember, I’m sure,” HaiKarateAquaVelva noted.

“But I figured there are other job positions that get the same kinda deal. Since my job is a bit unconventional and probably wouldn’t resonate with a lot of people if I cited my own experiences, I chose to go with another, more relatable profession, thus the “It didn’t scan…” scenario.”

HaikarateAquaVelva, who mentioned that they are a Bored Panda fan, said that they didn’t expect their thread would get so much attention: “But the post I made came from nothing more than a fleeting thought, and I never expected such attention from what was only a whimsical curiosity. It was cool to read through so many responses and having a laugh or two.”

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Cake decorator here- people would come pick up their orders and jokingly tell me I spelled the name on the cake incorrectly. They would watch me get upset with myself and offer to fix it, then tell me they were just kidding.

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I’m a veterinarian. Some clients do actually say “if you really loved animals, you’ll treat them for free right?”

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I’m obligated to ask those visiting my work place if they have any weapons to declare.

“Just these guns!” flex

Since starting my job as a writer at Bored Panda, I’ve heard variations of three dad jokes related to my occupation. People tend to ask me if I write about pandas all day. Furthermore, they ask me if I’m bored at my job. And lastly, they wonder if we have any pet pandas at the office. The answers to those, in order, are: No, but I write about cats and dogs a lot; I’m having too much fun to be bored; and we don’t have any pandas (yet), but we’ve got doggos! In fact, there’s a huge dog right next to me at the time of writing, and it’s awesome.

Now, I actually enjoy hearing corny jokes like these. But I appreciate that people working different jobs eventually run out of patience. Like customs workers who keep on hearing ‘I wish’ when they ask people if they have more than 10,000 dollars cash on them. Or repairmen who hear ‘do I get a new one’ when they can’t fix a small problem on a client’s computer. And we can’t forget about nurses who take your blood and are absolutely exasperated after being called a ‘vampire’ for the thousandth time.

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the lady that draws my blood said that she was tired of people calling her a “Vampire”

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I work in a call center. I have to ask “was there anything else I could help you with” at the end of the call.

-“Yes bring me a coffee with that”

-“make the sun shine again”

-“got the winning lottery numbers?”

-“yeah. What’s your number you have a sexy voice”

I just ignore them now and wish them a good day

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“Giving out any free samples today?”

Sir, if I did that, it’s a bank robbery.

Humor is one of the best things in the entire world because it helps us relax, increases our lifespan, helps us bond with other people, allows us to see the world in a different light, and helps us stop taking both ourselves and life far too seriously.

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“I just want a BLACK. COFFEE. None of this crap-u-she-no chocolate unicorn frap-aye glitter [crap]. Just a medium black COFFEE. I don’t care what size you call it but whatever’s MEDIUM I want THAT” Like ok u could also try “medium black coffee please”…

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As a church musician, I’ve heard things like:

“How does it feel to have the largest organ in town?”

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I’m in the military. “Thank you for my freedom.” While I appreciate the sentiment, I guarantee I have done literally nothing to protect your freedom. You do that all by yourself by voting.

If you want to thank me for your safety, I’ll accept that. Safety and freedom are not the same thing.

However, humor in modern times is no longer free from intense scrutiny, as some individuals believe that the freedom of expression doesn’t extend to stand-up comedy, for fear of somebody being insulted. Louis CK, Dave Chappelle, and Bill Burr are examples of legendary comedians who have spent their entire lives poking fun at society, injustice, and hypocrisy, wherever these might be found. And yet, they have received a large amount of criticism for some of the jokes they made recently because they drew attention to some uncomfortable details about living in the 21st century. Whether you enjoy these comedians or think that their humor is crass, wouldn’t you say that the freedom to express your thoughts on stage is important to protect?

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“So, what’s the matter with you?”

“You tell me, you’re the doctor!”

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I do commissions.

“Can you draw a headshot of my dog in color”

“Yeah sure it’ll be 6$ (I do really cheap commissions because it’s my hobby)”

“Oh you want me to pay!? I thought you liked to draw?”

“I do like to draw but it’s no different than buying a cake from a bakery, the shop owner likes to bake but the materials cost them money and we’d like to get some of that money back”

“Ugh never mind I don’t want to pay to get a drawing of my dog” It’s happened at least 6 times in the two years I’ve been doing this

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As a cop, I’d say the most common one I get is: I didn’t do it man!

Bro chill, I’m just trying to buy a red bull and some donuts..

Stand-up comedy on stage is one thing, but offensive jokes at the office can be a big no-no, depending on company rules. If you’re ever in a situation where a colleague tells a completely inappropriate joke, then there are several things that you can do.

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I’m in ultrasound. We do a hell of a lot more than just scanning pregnant people, but we get a lot of people who ask, “Is it a boy or a girl? HAHAHA” during abdominal and vascular studies.

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I work in IT. Any time something breaks on the computer it’s

“Hehe, oh no, guess I have to go home!”

Every. Single. Time.

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Vet tech here. Whenever I take a patient’s temperature:

“Aren’t you going to at least buy her dinner first?”

According to Small Business, you can ask your co-worker to explain the joke to you, so that they understand why it might be inappropriate. Then, if your colleague doesn’t get it, straight-up tell them in a calm, collected manner that you think what they said was offensive. You can also refuse to laugh at similar jokes.

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Not a profession, but it kind of relates to this.When people who don’t need glasses ask to try out my glasses and ask how I can see with them.

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Well my child is only failing Because you are a bad teacher. Not Because he refuses to study and does not pay attention in school

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Pizza delivery. If you happen to pass by anyone else at all on your way to the customer, they will say “You can just leave that right here ha ha ha.”

As a last resort, if your co-worker keeps on throwing out incredibly offensive jokes left and right, consider reporting them to human resources or to a manager. Just make sure you’re not reporting someone for an innocent dad joke that you’ve heard a hundred times before.

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I’m a psychologist, not a mind reader. You can relax when you talk to me when I’m off duty : I don’t want to figure you out. Quite frankly I don’t care. You do have a problem with your mother tough.

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Administrative worker here, not from customers, but from literally anyone that doesn’t work in an office, “so you get paid to do nothing? ‘

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Synthetic chemist. “can you make me drugs?” or other Breaking Bad related comments.

And yes. Yes I can. But I wont.

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I work in an office, and the boss often leaves me in charge if he’s away. I have one co-worker who, every time I’m covering, will arrive in the morning and say “Hi boss! Since you’re in charge— can we all go home now? Hurr hurr”

That, and “are you working hard? Or hardly working?”

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Travel Money Bureau.

every time im checking if some notes are legit or not, its “they should be fine I printed them this morning”

har de har har

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I work in the meteo (not a scientist, just an IT guy) and as soon as people know this, it’s all “Hey can you fix me some good weather for the bbq this weekend?”

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I work in IT. “Should I just… tUrN iT oFf AnD oN aGaIn?!”. Yes, yes you should.

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So you can give me the good stuff eh? Wink wink nudge nudge eh?

Im a nurse not a cocaine dealer, also yes.

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Web developer. “Come on, [deceptively complicated change that looks simple] shouldn’t take you so long!” B**ch. You are not a web developer. You have no idea how long writing code takes. You don’t get to tell me how long it should take. Only I get to do that. Also, just because something looks simple doesn’t mean it won’t take hours to implement.

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I serve banquets. I’ve had many middle aged men say the same exact joke to me when serving their Cream of Chicken with Wild Rice “How do you tame wild rice?” I usually play along but the last time it happened I told him the answer and he was [frikkin] bewildered.

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Groomer. “I brush him everyday!” The dog is matted from chest through back legs, and behind ears and tail.

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“Just do this one thing [for a new/prospective client]. It will lead to more work.”

How ’bout just pay me for this one thing and we’ll talk about future work too. This is not a hobby.

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In IT; No, you don’t get a new phone/laptop/iPad if you throw it out the window / run it over, etc. You get fired you psycho.

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I’m a researcher working for the Government of Canada. Them: “Hey, did you know my tax dollars pay your salary?” Me: eye roll.

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Policeman here. The old,”He/she is here, i’ve got him, he’s the one you’ve been looking for”, as they grip their relative/friend/nearest person to them and look at you manically….

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I work in the Deaf community and people always see the name of the charity I work for and say “Pardon?” then laugh like they’re the funniest person in the world. Little bit of my soul dies every frickin’ time

#38

When I worked at a ski shop setting up snowboard rentals I’d ask how they wanted their stance, regular or goofy, so I could set the bindings up. At least 3 times a week, for the 6 months a year we did rentals, for the 4 years I worked there, I heard from dads “well he rides regular, but he’s pretty goofy hahaha.” By the end of my time there I never even bothered with a fake chuckle anymore, I just didn’t have it in me.

#39

“So you can make my photo look great and not look like I was running in a poorly-lit hallway using a crummy camera?”

Graphic Design (user of Photoshop). I can create some nice stuff, but what I can’t do is turn back time and make you take an good photo.

#40

I work with a lot of graphic designers. It’s not that I want the logo bigger, it’s the two idiots above me making me insist upon it.

I am so sorry.

#41

I worked at a branch campus library for my alma mater: “What do you mean you haven’t read this book to tell me what it’s about? What do you even do it here all day?” Not read obscure textbooks about topics I’m not required to study, that’s for sure.

When I worked at a winery: “This must be the best job in the world! (read: you get to sit and drink wine all day)” Yeah because I’m totally allowed to guzzle half the stock while I’m on duty. /s

When I worked as housekeeping in a hospital: “Can you come do that at my house?” I don’t even do this at my house, so no.

When I worked for the post office: “You can keep the bills!”/”Bring me anything good today?”/”Is there a check for a million dollars in there?” No thanks./I don’t know, I didn’t open it./How tf should I know that?

And my husband the teacher gets a lot of “Summers off must be nice, huh?” or “Must be nice to only have to work nine months out of the year, right?”

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Receptionist here. I previously answered calls with, “Company Name, how may I help you?” and 50% of the time (or so it felt like) the response I’d get was, “Well, I don’t know how YOU can help me”. I switched it up to “how may I assist/direct you” but I still get the ol’ “Well, I don’t know…”

It’s not cute. Just tell why the eff you’re calling so we can both move on with our days!

#43

I’m a singer! I went to college for music and have been doing it professionally for sometime now.

I usually get, “Omg my granddaughter’s cousin’s niece is a singer! You guys should meet up!” Or, “sing something for us!!” And then if I don’t feel up to it they say “how can you be a singer if you don’t want to sing in front of people?” I love it 🙃

#44

Bike (bicycle) messenger. ‘You’re on a bike ? This should be delivered before next week, hurr hurr’.

Also every year during the Tour De France : “You’re lost buddy ?” All f*cking day long.

See Also on Bored Panda

#46

I used to be in the beer industry (selling to supermarkets) and I’d get “you can just load that pallet into my truck” every day.

Now I’m in the elevator industry and about once a week I get “I bet that has its ups and downs.”

#47

Not a profession but: I’m a guy with long hair (to the middle of my back). I hear stuff like “Did your hairdresser die?” or “When are you gonna cut it off?” or any hAhA uR gRiL jokes all the time. It’s not funny guys and you’re not the first to come up with it.

#48

Stocked shelves at a grocery store for a few months in college and some guy was angry because he had been in line for a few minutes and no one was there to ring him up. He found me and asked what was going on and I kindly told him I’d go grab a cashier to check him out and he goes, “No it’s fine, I can just leave with my stuff. I mean, I don’t have to pay if no ones gonna wait on me,” or something like that. I laughed sarcastically with a deadpan face and told a cashier there were customers waiting.

They didn’t pay me enough to stop him if he tried.

#49

“So can you come look at my car?” -Mechanical Engineer.

I know nothing about cars.

#50

I work in the music scene making beats and tracks for rap artists

Everyone always asks “Can I sample this track?” or “Use it for one of my songs?” and they say “imagine the exposure it will get you.”

#51

Ultrasound tech. Male patients: am I pregnant HAHAHA

#52

As a nurse, almost any time I give anything remotely close to a painkiller/sedative to patient, the family says something along the lines of “CAN I haVE One tOo HyUcK HYUCK HYucK”

#53

I work in a nursing home and sometimes we have a resident that is constantly trying to leave and go home, because they don’t remember that they live there. The on going joke is someone asking, “Can’t we just tie them to a chair?” (No, we cant. Just for those of you who actually think that’s an option.)

#54

I worked at a bank for 4 years. The amount of idiots that go “gimme all your money. Just kidding I’m not here to rob you.” Or “I guess all this cash makes it look like I sell drugs. I don’t though!” is staggering. And in the future, if anyone wants to make the second joke just know that they usually end up having to flag your account to check for money laundering activities so hopefully you aren’t actually selling drugs.

Edit: I also just want to add how many people would come in on Halloween and be pissed and shocked that we would have the audacity to ask them not to wear masks. That being said it was a hunting town so people constantly came in with knives and for some reason we were ok with that.

See Also on Bored Panda

#56

“Who is walking who?” – whenever I am taking a big dog to the back… hur hur

#57

I work at a car dealership. I’ll get customers come inside upon finding the keys accidentally left in a vehicle. They almost always say, “Found your keys out there, you know I could have just driven away.”

It’s like they want a reward for not stealing our vehicle.

#58

I work in a pre-school. Multiple times a week parents say “I don’t know how you guys do it!” Referring to taking care of multiple toddlers all day. It’s always the parents who leave their toddlers with us for 9-11 hours who say this.

#59

Dairy farmer: brown cows give chocolate milk. I milk brown cows. They don’t give chocolate milk.

#60

I work for a major spirit company and at least once everyday the pubs I’m calling on will say “got any free bottles?” and then when I say “no, unfortunately not” in the nicest possible way, they will make the rest of the call really sh**ty.

#61

“Oh you’re a mechanical engineer? You must know a lot about cars.”

#62

My medium rare steak has blood in it. I’ll take that for free please

#63

And this is our accounting department. “Lol, put some extra money in my check, lololololololol.”

#64

At Starbucks, we have categories and buttons for all the drinks.

When we get a new drink, there is a new button but no one tells us where the button is. It is either in with normal lattes or frappuccinos or it’s under the seasonal category on the opposite side of the screen.

So when a customer orders a new or special drink, we go on a wild goose chase for the button that seems to not exist. The customers will say “Oh you can’t find it? How about you make it and just let me take it.” My boss just tells us to ring them up for a basic drink and make the special one until the button is added.

The button is never added

See Also on Bored Panda

#66

I don’t have one like that exactly…

What I get a lot of is: “Wow, that’s like… professional!” Which is a massively backhanded compliment. I’m a fabricator. Professionally.

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video production

can you make (photoshop) me look thinner?

#68

Paramedic: After we’ve dropped a patient off (think interfacility transfer) and heading back to the elevator with an empty stretcher, someone always asks, “hey, can I get a ride to my car?” I usually reply: “Sure, $300, cash up front, but if you want me to clean it first, $500, oh, and you probably want me to clean it.” When we’re washing the rig at the end of shift, people actually ask what we charge to do their vehicle. Har dee [frikkin] har. Also, my contract fee for automotive washing is $100/hr, minimum 1hr charge. A totally had one guy tell me to learn to take a joke for that! “Nice park job, assh*le!” Hmmm, big white truck, blinky lights, I wonder if you call the local constabulary to report me, what ever will they do? Hmmm, rough night shift, feeling salty and drinking, maybe number 3 doesn’t apply?

#69

Work in cardiac ultrasound imaging.

“Can you tell my wife out there i actually have one?”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“So is it working?”

Legit. Hur hur hur

#70

Worked in the casino guest rewards, you sign up you get perks of some sort ours was a small amount of pts. to use towards slots then changed to some stuffed animal…(I know, we’ve all hated that idea) but if we’re ran out or the system was acting weird it was, “well guess you gotta give me X amount of money” … the other one after asking, is there anything I can help you with…”yeah point me to the winning machine” followed by the fakest laugh of my life.

#71

Waiter here.

“Can I get you guys anything else?”

“Yeah, a boatload of cash!”, or alternatively, “A wheelbarrow”

#72

Stripper here. Our version is definitely:

“How about I give YOU a lapdance!”

#73

As a Recruitment Consultant: “Haha so you just do your magic and find a job for me! Bye!”

#74

Paramedic here, I ALWAYS get the old ladies saying “oh! My taxi!” Or “You coming back for me later?”

See Also on Bored Panda

#76

Also well known in the beer industry:

“It’s the [insert color] truck out front. HURHURHHR.”

“It’s free today right. HURHURHUR.”

“It’s buy one get 29 free right? HURHURHUR.”

“Man this job must be awesome…getting to sample all this beer. HURHURHUR.”

“Oh he’s paying for mine too. HURHURHUR.” (This one is good because it usually gets the unknowing customer before this and sometimes after this guy to respond with one of the before mentioned jokes)

something breaks “AWWWW MAN I’M REPORTING YOU FOR ALCOHOL ABUSE. HURHURHUR.”

Seriously—people thinking working with beer is awesome. It is. But it isn’t.

#77

I work in IT. “Have you tried turning it off and on again? ” never gets old.

#78

I work in IT, when something doesn’t load for people, they love asking “is it the server?”. Yes it’s the server….all 50 of them…

#79

IT. “Can you hack my

#80

Landscaping – “hur hur do you want to come do mine (beds/lawn/etc) next? Hur hur”

#81

Phlebotomy.

Oh lord, the vampires here, let me call you back

I have terrible veins! They roll; they’re deep, and you have to use a butterfly!

Well damn, how many tubes you need?

I ain’t gonna have one more drop of blood by the time I get outta here

What they testing me for this time? A what? Like I know what that is.

#82

If I can’t fix a random-ass problem on someone’s PC, I get “so do i get a new one hurr hurr” so often it hurts.

#83

“there was a typo on the quiz, so that question doesn’t count” or “I was absent that day, so I don’t have to do that assignment”

#84

Photographer. Please make me look thin.
[helps them pose instead]

See Also on Bored Panda

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/annoying-profession-jokes/

Among the responsibilities of a dad is the unofficial responsibility to embarrass the rest of the family any chance they get. Sometimes this happens intentionally (much to their delight) and other times it is just sheer happenstance.

Bored Panda has created yet another list of delightful embarrassing moments and jokes from dads across the internet that have been posted by fellow family members or entertained bystanders. From playing fashion police to their kids from experimenting with social media these dads are sure to brighten your day. Scroll down below to check them out and don’t forget to upvote your favs!

#1 My Dad Passed Away In Late October. This Is What I Found When I Was Going Through His Computer

#2 My Girlfriend’s Grandpa With A Picture Of His Grandpa With A Picture Of His Grandpa

#3 Dad Proving He Hasn’t Lost All His Hair

#4 Babies Feeding Their Dads

#5 This Is My Dad. His Name Is Cliff

#6 My Son Accidentally Left His Favorite Stuffed Animal, Hamilton, On My Dad’s Farm. My Dad Had A Little Fun Making A Story Out Of It

#7 My Dad Thought It Looked Like Cake. He Is By Far The Most Extra Man I Know

#8 My Dad Sent Me A Picture Of My Mom And The “Nice Young Man” At Their Table At A Charity Dinner Last Night

#9 One Benefit Of Being A Little Person Is You Can Drive Your Daughter Around In Her Barbie Jeep When She’s Had Too Much To Drink

#10 My Dad Has Been Trying To Grow Pineapples For The Last Year, Today He Succeeded, Look How Proud He Is

#12 My Son Is Upset. I Got Him A Card

#13 My Dad Just Learned How To Use Photoshop

#14 Our 6-Year-Old Asked Dad For An Advance On His Allowance For A Toy. This Is The Response He Got

Dear , <…>

We regret to inform you at this time that we are unable to provide a loan in the amount requested of $20.00. After reviewing your account, we have found you have insufficient funds, and a history of not doing your chores.

Furthermore, over $80.00 has been spent on discretionary entertainment expenses since Christmas. This is an unsustainable amount of expenditure, and we cannot further compound the problem…

Dear , <…>

We regret to inform you at this time that we are unable to provide a loan in the amount requested of $20.00. After reviewing your account, we have found you have insufficient funds, and a history of not doing your chores.

Furthermore, over $80.00 has been spent on discretionary entertainment expenses since Christmas. This is an unsustainable amount of expenditure, and we cannot further compound the problem by financially assisting with occurring further debt at this point.

If you would like to refute this decision, you can contact our complaint department at 1-314-**** (mom’s number). Our dispute manager at this number may be able to persuade us to reverse our decision.

Thank you for choosing DAD Savings and Loan, we appreciate the chance to serve your financial needs.

Sincerely,

Dad

CEO, DAD S&L

St. Louis, MO 63126

#15 I Don’t Always Get Packages From My Father But When I Do…

#16 My Dad Makes My Step Mom Take Pictures Of Him Doing Weird Things When We Have Record Breaking Low Temperatures

#17 This Dad Saw His Daughter At Our Local Fair And Didn’t Like What She Was Wearing

#18 Well, At Least He Has The Legs For It

#19 My Dad Thinks He’s Pretty Clever

#20 I Asked My Dad For A Cordless Drill And This Is What He Gave Me

#22 He Stole My Headphones, Put The Plug Under The Soda, And Told Me He Was Listening To “Pop” Music

#23 The Dad Tax

#24 Chuck Norris Pinned By My Dad

#25 I Get A Snapchat From My Brother And Then A Text From My Dad Saying, “Post That To The Internetâ€

#26 My Dad Has Had Snapchat For One Day…

#27 You Know Your Pops Is Committed To Dad Jokes When He Stops In The Middle Of A 6-Hour Drive In Wyoming Just To Take This Picture

#28 My Dad Was Going Through Old Photos And Found A Picture Of A Boat We Built Together That Was The Length Of Me And Was Two And A Half Feet Tall

#29 My Dad Is Recently Retired And It Shows

#30 My Dad Is Moving Out Of His House, And This Is The Knocker He’s Leaving For The New Owners

#32 How To Kill Your Kid Without Really Trying

#33 My Grandpa Took This Bottle Out And Says, “I Take These For My Gambling Addiction”

#34 My Dad Got A Toaster That Toasts His Face On Bread

#35 The Card My Father Gave My Niece For Her 2nd Birthday

#36 Dad’s Toilet Seat Cracked And It “Bit” Him In The Butt. He Put This Warning Up For Others

#37 Friend’s Dad During The Harvard VS Yale Football Game

#38 My Father-In-Law Having Fun With Panoramic Mode…

#39 Oh No!

#40 We Didn’t Have 19 Candles. My Dad Said The Cake Was “4” My Birthday

#42 I Hope To One Day Reach This Level Of Dad Jokes

#43 145 Lbs To 180 Lbs, Married With 2 Kids In 4 Years

#44 My Dad Has Access To My Spotify Account And Uses It Often. The Only Problem Is You Can Only Listen On One Device At A Time. Today After I Switched To My Music Several Times, He Did This

#45 Dad Being A Dad

#46 My Turn! 1993 And No, My Dad Never Smiles

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/hilarious-dad-jokes/